hiiiiiiiiiiii.

hahaha, i'm at starbucks, chilling~ with my cup of frappe while birdgethebitch is studying her ass off outside. pissed off cause the lady put whip cream on my drink and the darn thick taste of it immersed into my drink :( pizzzzed offfff...................

so anyhooz. hahaha i havent officially withdrawn from school, but i'm guessing wed will be my last day in school. its a bittersweet feeling i feel, considering how much i've been hatin' school, it, by right, should be a hell hole i can't wait to get out of, but i feel sorrow as well. i hate myself for being weak, giving up after 1.5 years of being in SA. although the past 14 odd months haven't been fruitful in any way at all.

actually, idk why im quitting school. i shall attempt to understand my not-so-rationale rationale of getting the cold feet and quit sch. well, i suppose it is more or less impossible, to catch up 1.5years of work in a span of... 7 months? including going through the vigor of faithfully completing the tys, finishing up the tutorials i havent touched since i stepped into school and staying back in school till 7+pm to attend extra lectures... i just can't seem to see myself doing all that. i guess im just really not suited to study in such an environment. call me weak. i suppose whats making me feel uneasy about my quitting SA is the idea of giving up in the face of 'adversity'. i've always wanted to be one who could be strong enough to overcome difficulties and not deal with it by taking the alternative path to shun away from it... if you get what i mean? haha okay maybe not.

being as idle as i am now makes me feel useless. like dumb and stupid. so i cant wait to get my life back on track!!!!! i know ive said that line like a million times now but i really canttt wait :( looking forward to the day i safely say im a human once again. why is it so difficult to be a human :(

i hope i will be reborn again in UK................... and i really hope that i will not regret this decision that has taken be a year and a half to make. im so tired of life sometimes, yknow?